There is a heaviness in the air.
Something pressing down and making it hard to breathe.
Breathing, for me is hard.
Being okay is a challenge.
I can do it, I have been doing it.
The moment I feel that I can simply not do it anymore, like really honestly not do it anymore – is the moment I go back into therapy.*
The rain was falling down hard. Crashing down into the ground.
It’s eased up somewhat since there but there is still that feeling in the air.
Of heaviness. Of unleashing. Of out pouring.
Memories of that linger still.
I like being fancy.
Chicken curry on top of chunks of cumin spiced potato. Sour cream as an after thought.
I grabbed the recipe from this book right here – Master Chef NZ.
Being fancy distracts me.
I really do like being fancy.
I’ve already changed my nail polish twice already. It’s not even 6pm. I’m trying to study. I am not very good at this studying stuff. In fact, I get bored easily. Too easily. I try not to eat when I’m studying because then I’ll eat and eat and eat. Chocolate? I won’t even bother breaking bits off I will just start munching on the block.
When I am not eating and trying to study? I stare at my hands. At my nail polish. Hmmmm. I wonder what colour I should paint them next! Paint them, add glitter and then look at them a second time. Hmmmm. I don’t actually like this.
Ohwell, Time to change!
This may or maybe be happening right now.
This is one of the latest nail polishes I have bought.
It’s a ‘greige’ colour that are apparently in.
Honestly speaking, it’s okay.
I picked it because I don’t have a colour like that in my current collection.
It’s a creme.
I have a thing against cremes.
Cremes bore me a bit.
By a bit, I mean a lot.
I forget this. Often.
However, the disappointment of forgetting I dislike cremes was over shadowed by the other things I bought on Saturday.
This bag? I GOT FOR LESS THAN $2!
YES!! HUZZARH!! W00t!!
I know! I also says that it is water proof.
Also light weight, so I can stick it inside my hunk of junk bag and use it to cart around books whilst leaving my bigger bag into a storage locker.
Outlet malls = sale.
Sale = happiness.
Sale = excuse to buy clothing.
Not just buying clothes but it means that I can buy basic simple clothes in several different colours.
I like options.
So, it should come to no shock to you that I bought the same basic top in three different colours.
In two different shades of grey as well to boot.
1 shade of grey is not enough anymore.
I know. I’m one of those crazy -light grey- and -dark grey- people now.
That’s just how I roll.
I’m also one of those people who realise how much they really hate running when they are midway through a run.
My brain is a ornament.
Now, I have to go be boring and study.
By study I mean trying not to eat the dark peppermint chocolate.
Also? Means more running.
*I’m not talking about my infrequent frequent breaks down which is more lying on the floor until I get the strength to pick myself back up again which I don’t talk about on here. Not that but something more than ‘not being okay’.