How to run away from home in simple coherent steps.

1) Make a list of stuff you can not live without. (The night before)

2) Start packing bag. Realise that some items on the list can not possibly fit into your bag. This includes but is not limited to – your cat, entire book collection, bed, mass amount of clothes, kitchen and kitchen content.

3) Admit that you could not possibly fit all of that inside your puny bag. Feel bad because you called the bag puny. Apologize to the bag.

4) Realise that if you had a car, that maybe everything you wanted to take would then fit. Curse once again that you are foiled by your lack of driving skills and lack of the aforementioned magical car stuffed with your worldly possessions.

5) Sigh.

6) Start filling bag up with things you will need. Text books, water, wallet and lip gloss are all needed.

7) Debate about bringing your cellurmahphone – after all cellurmaphones are messengers of communications. Cellurmahphones do have clocks on them and Maternal paternal figure would be displeases if she could not contact you on it.

8) Pack Cellurmahphone in bag. Sigh some more because you aren’t untraceable but will not get told off by not bringing cellurmahphone.

9) Choose outfit with care. Layer if possible. Aim to strike the perfect mixture between summer and winter. Fashionable and practical. When referring to practical you are really referring to the fact that you will be wearing your most comfortable pair of high heels and your feet look great.

10) Go to bed and set alarm.

11) Sneak cat into bed.

12) Cuddle with cat.

13) Lament over fact that will have to leave cat.

14) Lament over fact that cat will never again try to eat your toes anymore.

15) Fall into a pit of despair ( Sleep.)

16) Sleep through alarm.

17) Wake up just as Maternal Paternal figure leaves the house. Silently salute her as the car leaves the house.

18) Eat chocolate cake for breakfast and greek yoghurt. Have a cuppa tea on the side. Cat tries to eat toes.

19) Have a long shower and savour feeling of getting clean.

20) Check email, look at status of parcels that should arrive at your house (hopeful) soon. Wondering if you should leave a forwarding address.
“Mel.
The beach.
That city.
New Zealand. ”
Decide not to because the it would look like the above. Rely on mum to send a message using the celluramahphone when the packages arrive.

21) Refresh the page 5 times in a minute just to make sure that nothing has happened to the parcels. Sigh in defeat. Shut down computer.

22) Decide against taking laptop because you already have 1 tracking device on you thank you very much, plus the place where you are escaping to is too far away to steal mum’s internet.

23) Admire your choice of footwear for half an hour.

24) Frown at the prospect of becoming unshaven. Bring teasers and a mirror. Feel like a crisis is adverted.

25) Leave the house and catch a bus.

26) Realise that after you hopped onto the bus, that you lack food and deodorant.

27) Got to the supermarket and buy what you lack.
Food = potato chips.
Buy 3 litres of low-calorie cranberry juice because you can.
Resist buying washing powder.

28) Regret buying the cranberry juice because now you have to luge it around with you.

29) Sit by the ocean and read.

30) Find the measure of calm that you have been lacking in three weeks.

31) Decide that you should have brought a blanket because you are unable to produce enough radiation to warm your legs to the desired temperature.

32) Toothpicks would be handy as well.

33) The last and most important step – stay there forever.

———–
To be fair, what I really did was running away with a time limit.
I spent the whole day at the beach, by myself and trying to find something I lost.
Inner peace? Zen? Just the fact of being okay?

I found it.
It made me wonder why I didn’t do it before.

There was a catch though, as soon as I went back to ‘reality’, all of the calm and peace I had obtained gradually faded away.

Bugger.

So now, I want that feeling back.
I miss that feeling.
I like that feeling.

Because all of this not being okay stuff? Is tiring.

xo Mel.

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About kamaness

Hi! I'm Mel. I run Kamaness with my two siblings Karl and Ness. Not that they post. It's pretty much just me talking about myself to myself.
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4 Responses to How to run away from home in simple coherent steps.

  1. Colie says:

    I soooooo know how you feel and I am very glad I now have a practical list to follow when I next run away from home. Thank you. Typically I only pack my favorite lamps and without your list I would have forgotten all about the cranberry juice!

    I think you should run away from home weekly (for the day) to get your groove back and I think I will too. New rule.

    Hang in there kiddo!! You’re awesome.

  2. kamaness says:

    That is quite alright! I adore making lists for anything.
    The cranberry juice really did help to enhance the whole thing plus it was on sale! It really is a pain to cart about though.

    You know what? I think I will. I had forgotten what a groove actually felt like, let along having one.
    Huzzarh for rules! Cakeland sounds like a good place to run away to, yes?

    Thank you, did I mention how /awesome/ and /amazing/ you are?
    Because you so are.

  3. Aunty says:

    We should have getaways to pursue inner peace together, and we should do it often. A walk in the botanic gardens, a quiet tea break, a day at the beach (as you have done) are possibilities.

    It’s good that you didn’t run away permanently – it creates more hassles. Especially while you’re still studying.

    • kamaness says:

      We should! I am thinking at least once a week yes?
      What would be perfect if there was one of those second hand cafe book shops and you can sit, read your book and also drink coffee.
      I like sitting and just watching the sea, it’s easy to think about how small you are when compared to the vast ocean.

      It would, the most I could do whilst studying would be going on an exchange trip but that requires money and good grades. A fair amount of money. Money which I lack.

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