There is a sign* somewhere floating above my head.
Somewhere, somehow it announces what my relationship status is.
How it does this?
Don’t ask me, I don’t know.
I can’t see it.
Other people? They can.
When it bings to single? It is hunting season.
Bring out the big guns!
Yeah. Mel is not impressed by this.
In particular when a guy who is notorious for trying to get up Mel’s skirt, messages Mel asking if Mel want to ‘talk about it’ a little just after an hour the break up became facebook offical.
Now, I know perfectly well that every guy who offers to ‘talk’ about The Breakup isn’t try to get up my skirt.
But this guy? His track record is not that great.
This is not the first time he has tried this stunt.
He’s tried it multiple times before.
Once he resorted to begging me to try him on.
Not impressed would be putting it lightly.
No, I did not sleep with him.
No, I’m not going to sleep with him either.
That would not go well. I’m thinking I would spend most of it crying.
“I MISS HIM SO MUCH BOO HOO BOO HOO WHY?! WHY DID HE LEAVE?! I LOOOOVE HIM!! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE LEFT?!” crycrycry
“Uhhh, Mel. Suddenly I think I don’t want to sleep with you after all…I’m going to go…Uh, see you? No, no, I’ll call you.”
ZOOM! out the door.
Yep. Something like that.
See? Not so good.
Last time it was the ‘hunting’ season, there were several people after Mel.
Most of them looked at her like a vending machine.
Oooooo, vending machine!
Yeah, vending machines are not good.
Where was I going with this again?
Oh! That’s right.
In order to curb the latest hunting season I have established something.
I have a girlfriend in Canada!
Or at least, that is what I am going to tell the Vending Machine looking at type guys.
Sssh, I know that means that I would be saying I am bi sexual or lesbian and that I really should change ‘girlfriend’ to ‘boyfriend’ but really? Where is the fun in that?
Pish. I am all about the fun.
What is not fun no matter how you spin it is being sick. Ness and I are ill, Mum is sounding like she’s in the early stages of it. Karl is fine.
Trust me. I’m doing the angry eyebrow face. Unfortunately I can’t do the angry eyebrow face and hold the camera at the same time.
Plus, I am all looking not to flash at the moment so I’m sparing you.
*This sign has neither been approved or denied. I may sound like I have guys chasing me to the ends of the earth but I’m just being dramatic. MelOdrama. See? It’s in my name. How can I not be dramatic after that?
Add on note – Just been dumped? Need a sound track for it?
I HAVE THE SONG FOR YOU!
Dreaming with a broken heart by John Mayer
So now we can all listen to the song and cry bitter tears.
Also – I have a quote.
“There are few things sadder in this life than watching someone walk away after they’ve left you, watching the distance between your bodies expand until there’s nothing… but empty space and silence.” – Someone like you.
Yep, I’m one of those angsty quoting song lyric and movie people currently.
Internet? You are doomed.